26 November 2010

Heckle and Jeckle

…were the driver-conductor tandem of the jeepney I unfortunately took on my way home. And probably the stupidest I have ever encountered…

Jude, the clerical assistant assigned to our suite of offices, sat next to me. I paid both our fares.

I had handed the two magpies a fifty peso bill, and although both seemed to be conferring with each other about how much our combined fares should be, they did not hand me any change at all.

Because so many of the other passengers were paying their fares – and receiving change – and because I was worried the two dunces would forget all about mine, I loudly called for my change.

So the magpies conferred again, and when they could not resolve the simple matter of my change, Jeckle – the young conductor – turned around to ask me where we were getting off.

Iodine time… But I wasn’t going to lose my patience…

I patiently repeated what I had so loudly said the first time… and so the magpies conferred again…

Finally, it was Jeckle – the older man, driving – who turned around to ask where I was getting off. So he didn’t know the place… He could have asked me when I handed over the fare, but I guess it never occurred to him…

Now, when I finally got my change, there was this lady near the jeepney’s rear door who was asking for her change as well. Probably catching on that the magpies were none too smart.

Because Heckle and Jeckle were not only the dumbest – they were also the deafest – the lady loudly asked for her change two more times. Heckle drove on and Jeckle looked at the road…

And since I was getting tired of the lady shouting across the jeepney, I called out to the Magpies to hand the lady her change. Before long another lady called out for hers, so I did it all over again…

In fairness to the magpies, they brought me home. Arithmetic, not very good. Driving, very good.

And in fairness to the original Heckle and Jeckle, they were fairly smart cartoon characters. Maybe I should have titled this note Dumb and Dumber…

[This story was first published on Facebook on 16 June 2008.]

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